woo! 2 in 1 month.. i'm on a roll

well everything's down the shit hole now...

1) i hit the guys car

2) got a ticket

3) insurance goes up 

4)  im carless while it's in the shop for a week or two

5) i'm broke

6) no groceries

7)  can't pay rent/utilities/internet/cable/ticket/cell.......

8) i have to share a car with my dad, sister, and brother

Other than that.. school is supposedly good, hopefully.

Rented BOLT! Can't wait to watch.

we meet again xanga....

oh how long as it been? quite a while actually. not much has changed.. work, work, school, drama, and boys.

blockbuster is still goin' pretty well, although chris (the guy who got me the job) got moved to the texas store which kinda sucks cause he probably was the coolest guy to close with. 3 ppl left and only 3 remain out of the 15 that were originally hired: me, beau, and elizabeth.

panda.. still hate it, im the only original besides my mom and a couple of guats from the kitchen. kirby's little sister emily works there now and this guy mike, havent really worked with either. megan the new GM, not so fond of her but i barely work with her so it's ok.

school: psyc idk what im making but hopefully its a 85 or higher. math analysis im making an A in! woohoo. Government.. not sure but I knwo it will be in the 80's. i'm bankin' on all A's.

drama: ugh, fights with friends, roommates, and family. it's never ending. taylor and i dont hagn out as much anymore. jayme and i have are differences. erica is hanging with her work/other friends more. im starting to lose more friends them im making. im moving home for the year. it's horrible. my sanity is slowly drifting away. i fight with my family all the time i just can't stand it. but i ccan't afford. it.

boys.. yea... just hate 'em all :-/ let's start off with michael: well, told him i liked him before he left cstat, of course no answer and the subject was ignored. but oh well, cause he's 8 hours away anyway. and matt, co-worker.. he proves that chivelry isnt dead. sucks that he just considers me "one of the guys".. and mike: told his friend who told taylor who told me that he wanted to "holla at me" in taylors words which means he wants to talk to me but then i find out he doesnt want a commitment which means he just wants to hook up like a booty call friend with benefits thing. ughhh... always used, always just a friend, never liked.

never been on a date. never had a boyfriend. never even had a guy that i liked like me back. and it sucks cause the last guy i thought that liked me ended up having the "where are we going" talk.. yea he told me that he thought i was SHORT TERM , aka just using me til the girl he actually likes talks to him. that hurt so bad.

on a happier note: my cousin is gonna have a baby boy. my brother and sister in law are having a baby girl  both of them due in may. im excited to be an aunt!! yayy. i love the name my brother chose for his girl. Peyton Lin. It's just so cute.

still have that sleeping issue.

hit someones car which was reported for the first time ever. fucked up my tires before that. i can't drive lately.

lifeguarding coming up. i kinda dont want wendy to work there. i hate her skinny ass. i cant wait to work with blake tho!! i miss him.

ughhhh my memory sucks...

forgot to finish mathxl.. due at 11:59pm... it's now 1:54am, had an assignment that was left at 75% completed.. which means a "C" in grading terms.

forgot to do psychology homework (2nd time in a row).. due in 8 hours, first class.. no time to work on or copy before class

forgot to read the assigned chapters (5th or 6th time in a row, can't remember, cause i forgot..).. need to know for class, can't answer questions when called on

forgot to call schools to volunteer as tutor.. no extra credit for psyc. (needed to make an "A" in class now only possiblity to even make a "B" is to ace all tests/quizzes.

can't remember if i turned off my straightener.. not at home to turn off if it is on

forgot that car is in the shop.. cant get to school w/o it

forgot where brain is located because i seem to put it somewhere and forget where it is.... seriously, no joke at all.. if my brain werent entrapped in my skull.. id lose it at least once a day...

most likely ill forget that im throwing party at my place thisweekend, or forget that i wanted to get ahead in homework/classes and just end up beind...

whyyyyyyyyy?!?!

i learned in psychology that you can never really forget anything, you just forget how to access them... well if you forgot how to access the forgotten.. isn't that a double whammy which means what you forgot is really forgotten if you forget how to access it? ohhhh whyyy do i confuse myself... point blank, once it's gone..it's gone!

i dont understand anything..

Figured this semester would go by better than any other year.. I'd have a fun new job, 3 classes=less hours also with ADA statements so I get more time on tests, and meds that'll help me out. Well, how wrong did everything tun out, Blockbuster is another job where everything is repetition.. although the people are more fun, my 3 classes that were suppose to be easy.. pshh forge that.. it's all reading chapters chapters!, next thing when I try and get a doctors note for my ADA statement they don't give i to me. The meds they give don't work,they just fuck with my heart and causes pain.

I don't get anything in my classes. I'm behind. I don't have time to do anything including homework cause of work or my freakin' sleepiness problem.

I've just been hanging at home a lot. Roommates are rarely here and if they are, there isn't much socializing. Taylor hasn't been hanging around, she's thinking of going to school in Houston this upcoming fall. I haven't been to the parents lately. I feel alone. I haven't been happy for a while, or ever.

I suck at keeping in touch with people.

Something happened last Saturday that I'm really worried about.

I never know what to do... or I ignore it cause I don't want to deal with it.

looking up